It's hard to believe I have a baby who is already 5 months old. Everyone always tells you how quickly time flies by, and it's true. Some days feel like an eternity, but in the grand scheme of things it's going by so fast. Life has changed a lot since my last post. I had 12 amazing weeks of having a full time partner helping to care for Maeve. We had days out, naps, and caught up on all of our shows. Life was good! Luke had three months of paternity leave and it was great. I was loving life and I thought parenting was fairly easy.
Reality hit me when Luke started a new job and went back to work full time. It was all me, all of the time. Those first few weeks were a huge learning experience for me. Luke works in Manhattan, it's about a 2.5 hour commute each way. He went from having a job where he worked from home most of the time to being in the office 4 days a week, he was gone for 14+ hours a day. He would leave the house before we woke up and didn't come home until after we went to bed. That left feedings, diaper changes, playing, comforting, pumping, nap times, bath time, bed time, all to me. It was a huge slap in the face, this was reality. This is what it's like being a parent, and it's HARD. Maeve was especially challenging during those weeks. She was going through a leap and wouldn't even let me put her down for a second without screaming. I cried when she cried and my anxiety skyrocketed, I was really struggling. I didn't eat dinner for weeks straight because I was just so tired and needed to go to bed after the baby went down.
Now that we're a couple of months in, we have gotten into a routine and it's a little easier now. Luke is able to work from home 2-3 days a week, and even though I still have the baby most of the time, it's nice to have some human interaction with another adult. I won't lie, it's still hard. Sometimes I feel like I only live to take care of someone else. I don't have time for regular showers, I don't have time for TV (my guilty pleasure), and I definitely don't have any time to do the things I love to do. I don't want to say that you have to give up your life when you become a parent, but the reality is there isn't much time for anything else aside from the baby's needs. Even though life is much different now, I wouldn't want to go back to the way it was before. Seeing Maeve's smile when she wakes up in the morning brings me so much happiness. I love cuddling her and spending time with her. While having a child has made my life harder, it also made my life better. I'm blessed to have such a wonderful little human being in my life.
Maeve has grown and changed so much in her short 5 months. I look back at pictures and barely recognize her, she's so different! My favorite part is her personality. She loves to squeal and screech. She loves Hitch and would try to eat him if given the chance (and believe me, she has tried). She has so many toys it looks like we run a daycare center. She's currently into putting literally anything into her mouth, and it's so much fun watching her learn new things each day. I make sure to do daily positive affirmations with her so she knows how smart, talented, and beautiful she is. Her face lights up every time we do them and I plan to continue as long as she'll let me! She isn't quite laughing yet, we have only gotten a few short giggles out of her no matter how many embarrassing noises and faces we make. She's almost sitting up on her own, and next month we start solids! Time is flying by and she'll be a grandma before I know it. I'm just going to continue enjoying the little moments before they're gone.